One Nation not Under God

One Nation not Under God

When I was a teenager, I was quite devout. For a good while I thought I wanted to become a priest, but then happily decided that I liked girls too much for such an endeavor. My Aunt Blanche, knowing my religious inclinations, gave me a copy of Thomas Paine’s Common Sense, and as she did so, she cautioned me to read it carefully, lest I begin to flirt with atheism. It did not dampen my enthusiasm for my Roman Catholic faith or for God in the least. Throughout most of my early and middle adult life, I remained a believer, though for a long while I was apostate from my Church, probably more so because I was apostate from God. Thankfully, He found me, and I continued to pray and practice my religion for many years after that.

Then, when I was around fifty, I read a book the title an author of which shall remain unnamed. I have no desire to scandalize her in any way. Though I had read numerous books and articles testifying to the authenticity of the historical Jesus of Nazareth, even by so august a scholar as Bart Ehrman of the University of North Carolina, who himself attests to the overwhelming probability that Jesus the Christ was an actual historical personage, despite the fact that Ehrman himself is not a believer, for some reason this anonymous book intrigued me. The author contended that Jesus did not exist at all, that the mythology surrounding him, his virgin birth, his divine nature, his miracles, and even his ascension into the heavenly realms were merely another expression of heroes and mythical figures in traditions as diverse as Greek mythology and Mithridatic traditions. She presented many earlier examples of virgin birth and contended that Jesus was merely the last in a series of similar expressions.

As I read the book, despite the feeling that the author was not necessarily an atheist, her arguments intrigued me. But after a few weeks, something most unsettling came over me. It was so overpowering, that, to this day, I can still remember precisely where I was when this occurred. I was standing against the railing of the bannister, at the top of the stairs in my house. It was a feeling that was really quite ineffable, yet I shall attempt to describe it to you.

I was convinced, you see, that she was right. But not only that the historical Jesus did not exist, but that there was no God. In wasn’t that I had embraced the “God is dead” movement of the sixties; it was as if I had never known God or even about God. I had come apart from my moorings and didn’t even know it. I was adrift at and in a dark, deep foreboding sea without so much as a lifejacket, with no land in sight. I felt utterly alone. Though my second wife was still alive, and my children were still young enough to be living with me, I was alone. I have never in my entire life felt so alone. So bereft of myself. I found I could not, nor would not speculate on whether God had ever, did ever exist, for me, for anyone, for everyone. I was more alone than I had ever been, more than after my parents’ sudden demise in a horrific car accident, more alone than after my first wife, Lorraine,  had died.

As I previously said, this feeling was ineffable. Words cannot adequately describe or denote it. I think that it must have been worse than for one who has never believed in God, for that person, I think, would not have a sense of what is lacking in his life. I had a sense of loss, acute loss, eternal loss, but a sense, as I’ve said, more akin to someone who has been shaken loose from his moorings and pulled out far to sea in a vast void of ocean.

I had a sense of misery, not unlike that of the ancient mariner in Shelley’s great poem. I felt doomed, as if I had never known God, knew that I had known him, and now knew that I did not know him or that he even existed. If I thought that I had been in Hell after my parents and sister had died, this was a hell beyond all hells. Though I am trying vainly to describe it, it was, and remains beyond any real and adequate description.

But then, one day, something truly wonderful happened. These events happened about twenty-five years ago, so I cannot be certain of the exactness of the time spans. Somewhen about four or five months later, I think in the same location as the first experience occurred, my faith returned to me. The return, the feeling, the knowledge, the apprehension was instantaneous and complete. It was as if a sudden flash of brilliant light had manifested in my soul.Of course, for days, maybe even weeks later, I mused that maybe the return of my beliefs was psychologically induced, that somewhere in my psyche I realized that I couldn’t live without God and so I rationalized Him back into existence. I realize now, as I finally realized then, that ratiocination about God can only go so far; God cannot really be reasoned about. Rene Dubos, in his excellent book, So Human an Animal, declares that when the last scientists, climbing the highest peaks of knowledge, in an attempt to transcend their own logic about God, have reached the summit of their knowledge, they will be greeted by a band of theologians who will declare, “what took you so long?”

So, I knew then, as I knew now, that God did not leave me at that time. In all probability, I left Him. And for whatever reason, He permitted it. How or why He returned is a mystery. I suspect He was never really gone, but that somehow, I had put blinders on myself for reasons I don’t fully understand.

I think that what has been occurring in the world today, and most clearly in the United States is a similar phenomenon. Our world, our country has left God. We have declared that with all our scientific knowledge and our technological advances, we don’t need Him. We believe that we can do all, know all, and protract and better our lives infinitely without assistance from anyone such as a Creator God. This nation from the beginning has been guided and nurtured by Judeo-Christian principles overlaid by a system of common law deriving from English law itself engendered from the traditions of Greco-Roman legal systems. Though our system of governance has been far from perfect, as our history has progressed, we have been moving toward a fuller expression pf the principles of freedom developed in our founding documents. Our ethical principles have been fortified by a system of laws which have sought to undergird the republic.

As we have moved further and further away from these principles, as situational ethics have replaced absolute notions of right and wrong, we find ourselves foundering without any rudder with which to steer ourselves. We no longer look for moral direction from anything or anyone outside ourselves. And without clear direction, without the stability of a national moral and ethical compass, anything goes. In the name of political correctness and not wanting to offend anyone, we have offended all. Worst of all, we have offended ourselves. As we continue to flirt with disaster, as we continue to push the limits of artificial intelligence, as we continue to clone sentient beings and obvert the natural law to our own designs, as we push the limits of moral boundaries, as we countenance disorder and destruction in the name of change, as we feebly attempt to force changes in the human heart by man-made legislation, without the commensurate spiritual sensibilities that have and are continuing to occur over time, we will push ourselves toward disaster.

We have split the atom, with potentially disastrous results; we are in grave danger of splitting our collective national psyche, and I fear the results will be far more dangerous.

The founding fathers gave us the Bill of Rights. The first amendment guarantees the free expression of religion apart from any established religion. The other rights of free speech and peaceable assembly are also contained therein.

I believe that in order to survive and prosper, so that we can continue to be the beacon and example to the nations of the world, we need to return to our roots.

We cannot discard our traditions, cancel, that is, wipe out our cultural identity, in favor of a way that is only grounded in violence and anarchy. That is what will become of a nation that tries to take its directives from a force outside of spiritual Good.

Above all, we need to pray to the Almighty, Who has endowed us with unalienable rights, that we make the choices that will be in the best interests of our nation, choices that reflect a knowing dependence upon that same Creator for our very being, and for our continued freedom and general welfare. And then, we must act wisely, based upon the best information and intelligence, and trusting to God that we have made the right choice. If we return to Him, and His trust, He will bless and protect us ever.